


My Eldritch Roommate

by Lana_the_salty_banana



Category: Original Work
Genre: Anal, Comedy, Ear Fucking, F/M, M/M, Mind fucking, Oral, cthulhu - Freeform, dad bod, double cock, mention of other religions, please don't crucify me, some comedy at least, sorta aftercare, wholesome cthulhu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 22:48:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21279014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lana_the_salty_banana/pseuds/Lana_the_salty_banana
Summary: Cthulhu is summoned to this realm by a person seeking knowledge and power, yet what they get is...far from expectedI wrote this for Halloween and as you can see I'm really late but hey, it's done, I'm proud of it, and I hope you enjoy it





	My Eldritch Roommate

The dark room was sparsely lit by several candles around the four corners, casting a warm light on the single occupant. The robed figure stood over a circle, a pentagram, each corner of the interior design marked by a melting candle, while the red markings glowed like a beating heart. They raised their hands over the pentagram, chanting a language that was closer to gibberish than to true language.

Anyone listening would think it satanic, yet in truth, it was something much more. This was a rite long forgotten, long thought to be nonexistent, even by practitioners of the oldest forms of summoning. Yet, here it stood, here it happened, and here, the fruits of the chanter’s labors would finally come to fruition.

As they continued to chant, the flames in the candles burned brighter, and with an intensity that was otherworldly. They were like furnaces, burning away at the wax, and threatening to catch the very room itself ablaze, yet the continued to chant. Their hands raising ever higher as they called out to another realm.

Past heaven. Past hell. Past all known realms, foreseeable or forgotten. They called out a name, first in the tongue of the chant, then in every tongue known by mortals and others, and finally, in their own. “Cthulhu.” The flames died instantly, the darkness so absolute it felt choking, even the pentagram stopped its beating light.

Then a flash. A flash so bright it felt searing, surely the figure should have died, and yet, they didn’t. the fell to the ground, covering themselves with their hands as they waited in the silence, eager yet frightened. They could feel the presence, the power, the ancient great old one they had summoned to this plane. Would they be upset? Surprised? Angry?

Or…was that snoring? The figure slowly lifted their head, curious as to what was causing the sound, only for their jaw to drop in absolute shock. There, laying in the center of the pentagram was Cthulhu, yet…he was far from what they had expected. Sure, the wings were there, the octopus-like face was obvious, yet the body seemed…out of place.

The arms were strong, with great power, the webbed hands lay sprawled onto the floor. His digitigrade legs ended in dragon-like claws, and even those showed strength. Yet, since when did an eldritch monster have a beer gut? And why were they wearing sweatpants and a worn wifebeater?  
“Um…g-great one?” The figure finally spoke, their voice quiet, almost frightened, yet undoubtably curious.

“Mmm, just five hundred more years, the mortals won’t mind.” His voice was like flowing water, yet coarse like grinding stones. This was not what the figure had anticipated, well, to be honest, they had no idea what they were expecting when they planned on summoning the great old one into their home.

“Uhm, sorry but, I am a mortal.”

“That’s good Nctosa, now go grab your sister and make breakfast.” Cthulhu yawned, a feat that seemed unnatural yet, at the same time, very interesting. His tentacles rising up, revealing a mouth beneath the writhing tendrils as he slowly sat up, his shoulders rising as he rolled them.

“Ugh, my back is killing me. Did the apocalypse start yet?” he blinked his blank yellow eyes, looking about at the dark room, which was slowly being filled with light from the candles reigniting, seemingly of their own accord, or perhaps it was his presence.

The hooded figure was confused, searching for words, yet still unable to find them. Cthulhu looked around, stretching his arms above his head, letting out a small groan. “Ugh, okay. Wait…where…are you…wait…” Cthulhu slowly stood up, towering over the hooded figure by almost a full foot, not quite scraping the ceiling, but coming somewhat close.

“You’re mortal. How did you get…” He looked around at the room, then down at the pentagram, his eyes growing wide in surprise. “Oh, wow, a summoning circle, that’s impressive. So, you summoned me?” Cthulhu talked as if he was speaking to a friend, or a relative.

“I…yes.” The figure removed their hood, showing off his shoulder length hair kept in a tight ponytail. “M-my name is Julian, I summoned you for-”

Cthulhu raised his hand, stopping Julian as he walked closer. “Let me guess, unwavering power? Unparalleled strength? Knowledge lost to time? Trust me kid I’ve heard it all before, same story different…uhm, what years is this by the way?”

Julian raised his eyebrow, “Uhm, its twenty nineteen.”

“B-I, or A-C”

“Uh…A-D?”

“Wait…what’s the most common religion in the world right now?”

“Christianity?”

“What happened to Church of Tiphuzen?”

“I…I’ve never heard of that in any of my studies. It took me decades to find even a scrap of detail surrounding you and the great old ones, yet that never even popped up once.” Julian seemed to be in a panic as he ran to a side of the room, flipping a switch and turning on a bright light, making Cthulhu shield his eyes.

“Electricity? Holy…woah.” He looked around the room, which, much to his surprise, was much more akin to a crowded, cluttered office as opposed to the dark, almost tomb-like room he expected.

“It has to be somewhere here. A religion that expanded the world wouldn’t have disappeared like that.”

Cthulhu walked up to Julian, placing his webbed hand on his back, making him jump. “Easy now kid, I can answer any questions you have. I just have one more. The whole, Christianity thing, who’s the primary deity of it?”

“Oh, that. Well, it’s one of the few monotheistic religions, hence it being the most common. The god is, well, often referred to as just God. But in the origins of the religion, he’s referred to as Yahweh, or Jehovah in Latin.”

There was a brief moment of silence, then Cthulhu started to laugh. He laughed and laughed, arching his back and clutching at his stomach as black tears seemed to drip from his eyes. “That little kid went and made his own religion? Wow, who would have thought. And what about those titans? That little shit Kronos, I think his name was.”

“Uh, th-the titans were part of the Greek religion, but not the biggest parts of it. Kronos tried to eat his children to keep in power…if memory serves.” Julian was beyond confused, but also very intrigued.

“Oh man, this is sending me for a trip. Okay, let me give you the lowdown.” Cthulhu grabbed the chair in front of Julian’s desk and sat down, coming almost eye-level with him. “So, you summoned me, but the dimension I came from is, odd. Time is convoluted. It doesn’t move the same for great ones, even if we’re in the same plane of existence. The gods that you know or worship, they were like, children to me, back when I was young, say a teenager. And they left my dimension, to come create their own. Thus, this. And as I said, time is odd, which…wait, hang on a second.”

Cthulhu raised his head and looked off into the distance, allowing Julian a brief second of respite, trying to comprehend everything he had just heard. “Julian, is everything okay? I thought I heard someone…laughing.” Julian turned his head to see his girlfriend Amy standing at the doorway, poking her head in, her jaw dropping at the sight.

“Now Amy I know what it looks like.”

“Holy shit you actually summoned him. That piece of paper was right!” Amy rushed into the room, but Julian stopped her halfway on her rush to Cthulhu, who was still caught up in his stare. “He’s a lot smaller and…rounder, than I expected.”

She was about the same height as Julian, similar build, but a little more meat on her bones. She, similar to Julian, had an affinity for magic, though where Julian focused more on books and incantations, she was more along the lines of potions and, well, let’s just call it ‘hands on’ aspects.

“Yeah, I’ve gotten that. But that’s not what’s the really weird part of it all, you see-”

“Hey honey, finally got you, how are you doing?” The two stopped and turned their head as Cthulhu looked up into the ceiling, leaning back on the chair, a smile somehow showing beneath his tentacles.

“Yeah, I know, I got summoned here. Oh yeah, real shocker, didn’t realize it could happen like this. Mhm. Oh really? Well is your sister okay? That’s good, you always were the responsible one, I’m proud of you.”

“Is he?” Amy almost wanted to talk directly with him, but Cthulhu seemed much more caught up in what he was doing or talking to.

“I think he’s conversing with other great ones. At least…I think so.” Julian was WAY beyond any form of understanding at this point. Right now, he was just trying to keep his sanity.

“So, I need to ask, what year are you in right now? Oh really? Well that’s not too far off from me. Oh, you started apocalypse already. Yeah, they do make fun sounds, don’t they? Well, I guess I’ll have to take the long ride there. Be sure to keep your sister safe, and watch out for the rest of your siblings alright? If you need anything at all I’m sure your uncle Hnarqu would be more than happy to help. Alright sweetie, I love you too”

Cthulhu sighed as he shook his head, finally noticing the pair of eyes on him. “Ah, sorry about that, just had to get in contact with my daughter is all. Disappearing from your own dimension makes the family worried and whatnot” He shared a warm smile, which, oddly enough, set the two of them at ease.

“Hello, sorry, my name is Amy, I’m Julian’s girlfriend.” Amy walked past her boyfriend and extender her hand. Cthulhu took it tenderly, shaking it kindly.

“A pleasure.”

Amy nodded, seeming almost giddy to keep talking. “I must say. It is an enormous honor to meet you in person. But I have to say, how you hold yourself is…completely different than what I expected.”

“You mean because of that H.P Lovecraft son of a bitch?” Julian and Amy were taken aback by his words. “Yes, I know about him. That bastard somehow snuck his way into our dimension, saw us, then he started spitting out all this nonsense about the ‘great old ones’ when in truth we’re just creatures in a dimension different than yours.”

“But you just referred to yourself as an old one earlier.” Julian’s interjection was met with a slight sigh from Cthulhu, making Amy jab him in the ribs.

“It’s alright, he didn’t offend me. I referred to myself as that simply because it’s the easiest way for your mind to comprehend me. If I’m being honest, I’m surprised you can comprehend my speech as easily as you can. Either you are extremely powerful in your own right, or humanity has grown a lot in the past hundreds of eons.”

“Well you could say that. Along with elves, dwarves, demons, angels. This, uhm, world, I think. It’s so hard to really say what we are these days since there’s different dimensions and all that.” Amy got caught up in her own thoughts, her hand on her chin as she pondered away at what she was meaning to say.

Cthulhu laughed, brightening the mood in an instant. “I tend to use the term plane of existence, but almost everything applies. Well, I hate to impose but uh, do you have a shower I could use?” They looked at him with tilted heads, completely caught off guard at the fact that Cthulhu, one of the old great ones, a being of unknown age and power, asked for a shower. “What? I’ve been sleeping for a while, feeling a little ripe is all.”

“Uh…y-yeah, I get that. Just go out the door, turn left, it’ll be the third door on your right. Towels are under the sink.” Cthulhu smiled as he stood up, walking past the couple, turning and crouching under the doorframe as he made his way down the hall.

“So, babe, explain to me like…just what the fuck is going on?” Amy was confused. Julian had summoned numerous things in the past, most were as advertised, but this was so far left field that she was at the pitcher’s mound. “Because last time you summoned something super ancient, we almost got sent to prison.”

“I…I honestly haven’t the slightest clue.” Julian walked past Amy to the door, taking off his robes, showing off his slacks and crop top as he hung it up on a hook on the wall. “I just thought that things would turn out…somewhat as expected for once. But I guess expectations are most certainly being subverted today.”

“Well lucky for you I went ahead and put up some precautionary seals around the house. Hopefully they kept the power of your little ritual hidden, but with a creature like Cthulhu, despite him being, well, what he is, even I could feel the power from him.”

The two stepped out into the hall as they looked down the hallway. The shower was on, but the door was open, and the two of them looked to each other. “Do you think…” Julian could usually read Amy like a book, and she could read him, and right now, they were probably thinking the same thing.

“I mean he did have clothes he had to take off. And we haven’t had a fun in a long time so…” They stood in a solemn silence for a couple moments before slowly making their way down the hall to the bathroom. They peaked around the corner and surely enough, his clothes were on the floor, steam filling the room as they continued to peak into the shower.

The shower itself was rather large, big enough to accommodate most creatures of all shapes and sizes, one thing they had a common thing of in the house. As they looked ever closer, they could see the outline of his shoulders, a small hum coming from him as he cleaned himself.

They were about to leave when they froze from some words echoing in their heads. _“You know, I can sense your intentions as well as your presence, no use trying to hide. I’m a single father of plenty of children, things get stressful, so, if you want it, and think you can handle it, I won’t stop either of you.” _

The echoing voice in their heads disappeared as they looked to each other, before stripping their clothes off and rushing in with wide smiles. Julian got stripped first, given he was thinner and had less clothes, showing off his toned body, small chest and streamlined body. One could tell he kept himself in shape, preferring speed to strength, like running and swimming, so he had a lithe body, and a cute ass.

Amy followed shortly after. She had a little bit of a problem with her bra, but she had enough experience simply ripping it off that she didn’t mind, she had more. Her chubby body jiggling as she followed after Julian. Her chest was rather big, but not huge, but her real biggest asset was, well, her ass. She was pretty bottom heavy, but Julian loved it, so Amy didn’t mind.

They pushed aside the curtain to see Cthulhu standing there, and they gasped. Cthulhu smiled as he turned to them, their eyes travelled down to the single thing of importance to them, or, in this case, the two things. Cthulhu didn’t have a single cock, he had two.

They were long and thick, dangling partway down his thighs. They looked almost dragon like, with pointed tips, ribbed undersides, and a small bump that ran down the length of both sides. “So, like what you see?”

Julian and Amy didn’t answer with words, instead, they just walked up to him, kneeled down and took his cocks, one for each, into their hands. They ran their tongues down their lengths, slobbering and kissing the organs. Cthulhu moaned slightly from the pleasure he was receiving, “Damn, I really hadn’t had this in a while, and I can tell that you two have had a lot of practice.”

Cthulhu brought his hands down on top of their heads, gently guiding them as they pleasured his cocks. Their sensual moans like music to his ears, except he didn’t have ears but the concept was the same. They continued to run up and down his cocks, savoring every inch of his lengths, every bump and ridge, all in all, they were nearly perfect.

“I choose…you first.” Cthulhu reached his arms down and grabbed Amy by the arms, picking her up as if she was a small child. She gave a tiny chuckle as she wrapped her legs around his stomach, a much harder feat than one would expect, as his tentacles slowly started to make their way to her face.

Julian fortunately wasn’t the jealous type, hell he got to have both of those dicks to himself now. As he began to run his tongue between the two organs, their full size finally reached, awing him in the process. As he began to take the tips into his mouth, he couldn’t help but jerk his own cock, which, despite being somewhat on the average side, was nowhere near Cthulhu’s

“I’ll know if this is too much for you, hope you can enjoy it~” Amy didn’t say a word as she eagerly waited for Cthulhu to do what she was hoping for. His tentacles contacted her face, slowly making their way over her skin and finally into her ears, and she spasmed.

Julian looked up as she twitched and moaned with pure pleasure, all he saw after a brief second was a waterfall of juices from her pussy, dousing him like a water park. Though he couldn’t see it, he could imagine pretty damn well what was happening.

Cthulhu’s tentacles reached into her ears, messing with her brain, giving her the deepest, most inexplicable pleasure, she had ever experienced. Her mouth hung wide open, tongue hanging out as she moaned in pure pleasure, eyes rolling in ecstasy. Cthulhu grinned as one of his larger tentacles snuck down her open jaw, pushing down her throat, making her gag loudly.

“You’re far stronger than mortals I’ve dealt with before. You both must be magical, or, perhaps…” His train of thought went on into silence as he continued to mindfuck Amy into oblivion, her pussy quivering and spasming, letting out more juices than she ever had, or probably ever will.

Julian happily licked them up as they dripped down onto Cthulhu’s cock, slobbering loudly and messily as he savored the tastes. All the while, Amy’s mind was breaking by the second, and she was racked by another torrent of orgasms Cthulhu pulled his tentacles out and set her aside, making Julian stop.

“Well, she’s done for the night, now, what about you?” Julian smiled as he stood up and turned, leaning against the wall as he presented his ass to Cthulhu. “Hah, I figured as much.” Cthulhu moved closer, giving the smaller male’s ass a ‘gentle’ smack, making him moan loudly.

“Don’t worry about taking it easy on me. I’ve taken monsters much larger than you, who were far rougher.” Julian’s cocky smirk quickly turned into a nervous grin as Cthulhu towered over him. The monster grabbed Julian’s hips and in one large thrust shoved both his cocks in at once, making him gasp in shocked pleasure, his cock throbbing as a rope of cum shot out.

“Awe, how cute. And believe, me, while I don’t doubt you’ve had larger ones inside of you, you’ve never experienced anything like this~” As Cthulhu began to move his dicks in and out of Julian’s ass, he leaned forward, his tentacles wrapping around Julian’s head and pushing into his ears.

The sensations Julian felt were explosive and indescribable. It was torture, yet pure nirvana. It was horrifying yet enlightening. He felt scared, yet never safer. There were no words, or emotions that could describe what he felt as the entire world faded away, Cthulhu’s tentacles pushing into his head, insanity taking him over in the best possible way.

He was barely able to feel his ass getting plowed into, the only thing he could even think of was how good it felt inside of his mind. This was far better than anything he had ever fucked or been fucked by, and he never wanted it to end. Yet, he feared he would lose himself entirely if this kept going on for too long, while not a horrible thing to happen, he still had things he wanted to do. And as he felt Cthulhu’s thrusts become harder and more erratic, he could tell that he was about to get something Amy would be extremely jealous of. ~

The two woke with a start as the looked around their bedroom, then to each other. They were naked, yet cleaned, no evidence of sweat, fluids of any kind, or of a certain eldritch monster. “Was…was that a dream?” Amy sounded sad, yet at the same time, Julian almost feared it was.

“Maybe. I don’t feel sore like I got fucked so…maybe the summoning did work but just on a mind-altering creature…let’s make breakfast.” Julian got out of bed, Amy following suit. They threw on their robes, shuffling their way to their kitchen, watching the first rays of sunlight drift in through the windows.

“Mm, smells good, how did you manage to make bacon so early?” Amy snuggled up to Julian as the two giggled, making their way into the kitchen.

“I didn’t do anything, I thought you…” They stopped; their eyes wide in shock as they saw the figure at the stovetop.

“Oh, there you two are, wow you woke up way earlier than I expected. All I managed to get done was the bacon so sit down while I finish the pancakes.” Cthulhu, it really hadn’t been a dream after all. Cthulhu’s moth couldn’t be seen beneath his mat of tentacles, but his facial expressions showed a warm smile, much like a father.

He was wearing nothing but an apron, the front reading ‘#1 eldritch father’ that was splattered with some pancake batter. “Hope I didn’t wake you two with my talking. Some of my kids called and all that, they got nervous when they heard I disappeared, but I assured them everything was alright.”

Julian and Amy were almost in a daze as they sat at the table, watching Cthulhu continue cooking breakfast for them. He eventually came over with a plate stacked high with pancakes, another layered with bacon as he went back to cooking. “How do you like your eggs?”

“Scrambled.”

“S-Sunny side up”

They were still so lost at the turn of events. Cthulhu went back to cooking in silence, as Amy’s stomach grumbled, and she gave in, grabbing a couple pancakes and bacon and digging in. Julian looked to her, then to Cthulhu, then followed suit.

“These are so good.” Julian would have agreed with Amy if his face hadn’t been stuffed as well, but his nodding merely showed his approval.

“That’s good, I used to cook breakfast all the time for my kids, they practically begged for pancakes all the time. It’s the fact I put a dash of cinnamon in there, no one ever expects that.” Cthulhu finished cooking and returned to the table with eggs in hand, giving them out and sitting down.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Julian stopped to take a quick bite of eggs, eyeing Cthulhu with innate curiosity. Did he even need to eat? I mean he mentioned it but, does he have to, or just want to?

“Nah I’m fine, not hungry yet. I wanted to ask first before I did anything else.” The two stopped their gorging and turned to him, listening intently. “So, as its obvious, I’m stuck here for the foreseeable future, not that there’s anything wrong with that, I like you two, you seem fun. But what I wanted to ask; may I live here? I know you two are boyfriend and girlfriend, so I don’t want to intrude or anything. I can’t do much in terms of rent but as you can see, I can bake, and I have eons upon eons of lost knowledge I can give, but if you don’t want that then-”

“ARE YOU KIDDING!?” Their voices were practically one, making Cthulhu jump in his seat. “We don’t mind in the slightest, hell we’d love for you to stay here for as long as you need.” Julian took over, practically leaning over the table in excitement.

“And besides, its not like me and Julian haven’t had anyone else in the house for an extended period.” Amy brought her hand and rested it on Julian’s shoulder, the two sharing a tender, warm smile. “I love him, and he loves me, nothing can change that. We’d love to have you here.”

Cthulhu smiled as he let go of a pent-up breath. “Well, that’s good then, I’m glad. Thank you both so much. And if there’s ever ANYTHING more you want or need from me, don’t hesitate to ask.” Their eyes glittered and their mouths spread into wide, mischievous grins.

“Oh, we can think of a couple things.” As they spoke, the pushed away from the table and crawled beneath it, making Cthulhu chuckle.

“Well, who am I to say no.”


End file.
